Vader's Son Trouble
by Sith Master2019
Summary: After ESB Vader goes to see a shrink or whatever you call them, because it hurt his emotionally that Luke did not turn to the dark side.


**_Hope you like this I myself think its hilarious myself._**

Lord Vader had been feeling very bad ever since he told Luke Skywalker (his son) that he was indeed his son. Sidious had suggested he visited shrink or whatever he called her. Her name was Dr. Snappy, and Vader hoped she would indeed be snappy in solving his mental problem.

He reached her metal office door and entered.

" Greetings Dr. Snappy." Vader said miserably.

" Hello I presume you are Darth Vader, but I have gotten married and my name is now Dr. Google-myger-spit…" She began looking at her data pad as Vader sat down on her levitation sofa." And you have a problem because you have to much prune juice in your digestive system."

" No you idiot my problem is that my son wont join the dark side!" Vader snapped.

" Oh thank God." Dr. Google-myger-spit muttered to herself in relief." So tell me how this all started."

" Well I was driving my shuttle wicked fast using the force to get to cloud city and capture it before my son got there."

" I see. And how fast do you think you were going." The Dr. asked pleasantly.

" That's kind of off the point isn't it?" Vader asked.

" HOW DAMN FAST WERE YOU GOING!" She screeched.

" Wow, you're really forceful." Vader began and then he saw the look on her face." Anyway I think I was going three hundred thousand light-years per hour."

" I see."

" And when I got there, I took the place over and my son came."

" I see." She said making notes on her data pad.

" And then we had a lightsaber fight which led us to this really big pit."

" And how big was the pit?" She asked kindly.

" I don't know." Vader said.

" HOW DAMN BIG?" She screemed.

" I don't know!" Yelled Vader. The woman seemed to reconstruct herself and continued listening to Vader.

" So anyway he was at the edge of the pit. And then I cut his hand off and told him I was his father." The Dr. didn't seem to be listening for she was now busy consuming a whole bottle of Twi'lek whisky.

" Hey listen to me you stupid woman." Vader commanded. The woman looked at him dumbly.

" So anyway you cut your sons hand off?" She slurred.

" Yeah. And then when I told him I was his father he's all ' NOOO, NOOO THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!' " Vader said in the most preppy voice ever.

" I bet that was really frustrating!" The Dr. exclaimed madly after consuming yet an other bottle of Twi'lek whisky.

" Yeah it was. But anyways the emperor commands me to like kill him." Vader admitted.

" Really? Tell me more!" The drunken Dr. Cried.

" I'm done." Vader said.

" What! I wanna here more!" The Dr. pouted. And at that moment a woman burst in with a bazooka and shot the Dr. with it causing her to die and fly out the window behind her.

" What the hell was that?" Vader cried.

" I'm the real Dr. Google-Myger-Spit!" She exclaimed.

" Oh really." Vader asked in a high pitched mechanical snort.

" Yeah and I heard it all!" She cried dropping her bazooka causing it to fire two more missiles that hit a speeder outside and making it crash into the building opposite them.

" So how can you help me?" Vader asked curiously.

" Well I suggest that you kill the emperor." She said sitting down on her bloody desk and tossing the whisky bottles out of her broken window. People on the street below cursed madly as the bottles hit them.

" KILL THE EMPEROR!" Cried Vader." That's-that's the most wonderful idea I've ever heard!"

" Yeah I know, well your session is over, five million imperial credits please."

" WHAT! No one, no one, absolutely no one has that kind of money on hand." Vader exclaimed.

The woman looked at him dumbly and said. " Sure they do." And she pulled out of her pocket five million imperial credits.

" Hey, why do you need all that money?"

" Well my boyfriend General Grevious wants to buy a really, really, big gun so he can kill the emperor and take over the galaxy!" She started to giggle like a little girl.

" Grevious is still alive?" Vader asked as though it were a simple question like ' what time is it? Or ' say would you like to come to my apartment and get married some day?'

" Oh yeah." She said in a cool voice." He's a hunk!"

" Here then." Vader said and gave her five million credits.

" Ha, ha, ha!" She laughed. " I lied!"

Vader didn't really care as she was about to die, for she just fell out her window because she failed to notice as she was dancing around. But one good thing had come out of it, Vader knew he must kill the emperor. And one bad thing, he had just wasted five million imperial credits. And now he really wished he had them so he could buy a really big gun.

**_Hoped you liked it, if so please review, my grammar wasn't as good as it could be, I know. _**


End file.
